From NEW ZEALAND - when, You know what to do in an Earthquake: get into the nearest doorway before any other bugger and say, "Nah, i don't reckon it's the big one this time. We'll be right" You can hum the theme song to Coronation street. You know what apples really taste like (and that there are more than four different kinds) You know rugby league is not, and never will be, an international sport. You're not sure about cricket, either. Or hockey. Or netball. Or swimming. Or the women's 400m. Or any other sport in which Australia are world champions. Yes, you're even having doubts about real rugby. You know what happened to the lead singer of Push Push You're seen split Enz, or former members thereof, performing live at least once You reckon anyone who carries on about how great they are is an up-themselves wanker. Or an Australian. You wouldn't dream of wearing thongs on your feet. Thats what jandals are for. The name "Chappell" still makes you queasy You know someone who worked on The Lore of the Rings or Xena You wish Fitzy, Zinzan and Josh were still playing for the ABs. The dairy sells more than just stuff from cows You rolled Snifters, rather then Jaffas, down the aisle at the movies You know something's horribly wrong if you've been driving for more then 2 hours without the scenery changing. The words "NZ cricket victory" just don't sound right, somehow. You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from New Zealand.

from NEW ZEALAND, when: You know what to do in an Earthquake: get into the nearest doorway before any other bugger and say, "Nah, i don't reckon it's the big one this time. We'll be right". You can hum the theme song to Coronation street. You know what apples really taste like (and that there are more than four different kinds). You know rugby league is not, and never will be, an international sport. You're not sure about cricket, either. Or hockey. Or netball. Or swimming. Or the women's 400m. Or any other sport in which Australia are world champions. Yes, you're even having doubts about real rugby. You know what happened to the lead singer of Push Push. You're seen split Enz, or former members thereof, performing live at least once. You reckon anyone who carries on about how great they are is an up-themselves wanker. Or an Australian. You wouldn't dream of wearing thongs on your feet. Thats what jandals are for. The name "Chappell" still makes you queasy. You know someone who worked on The Lore of the Rings or Xena. You wish Fitzy, Zinzan and Josh were still playing for the ABs. The dairy sells more than just stuff from cows. You rolled Snifters, rather then Jaffas, down the aisle at the movies. You know something's horribly wrong if you've been driving for more then 2 hours without the scenery changing. The words "NZ cricket victory" just don't sound right, somehow. You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from New Zealand.

..from Kansas:
You’ve done that drive to Denver. You know, to the second, how long it takes to get there. And you know exactly how painful every single one of those seconds feels.
You actually know what the “S” in Harry S. Truman stands for.
Of course, you also don’t think it’s weird that you’re never more than three degrees of separation from anyone in a city with millions of people.
You will, to your dying day, contend that Don Denkinger made the right call at first base.
you don’t think it’s weird that there’s an unused spaceship right in the middle of town.
Yes, you’ve spent a good chunk of your life explaining what state your hometown is in.
And the only thing that really matters is this: You’re from KC, one of the greatest cities on Earth.

TURKISH _ and LOVE IT!!!!
Your mother can make yogurt from nothing
MSN messenger is 100x better than AOL
Your guy relatives look like maffia during the holidays
Your father has a minor disagreement with his brother and doesn't talk to him for 10 years
You call an older person you have never met before "uncle", "aunty" or abi
You hide everything from your parents
Your phone is always on silent
Your mother does everything for you if you are male
You do all the housework and cooking if you're female
Your relatives alone could populate a small city
Everyone is a family friend or somehow related to you
You always try moving out of home but always end up returning
You love kebabs, iskender and eating
Instead of cooking a meal for 4 you cook for 10
When you have a dinner party there is enough food to last for the next two months
You fight over who pays the dinner bill
You avoid public places with a member of the opposite sex especially if there is an acquaintance within 250 miles radius
You always say "open the light" instead of "turn the light on"
You get very upset when airlines refuses to accept your luggage which is 80 kg overweight
You secure your luggage with a rope
You're walking out of customs with your trolley at the airport and you see all 25 members of your family who have come to pick you up
You ask your dad a simple question and he tells you story of how he had to walk miles to get to school
You are always taking off and putting on your shoes wherever you go
Your mother seems to think her future lies at the bottom of a little coffee cup
Your parents compare you to all of their friends kids
You put salt in your food before you taste it

From Montreal!!!
1. You pronounce it "Mon Ray Al ", not "Mahntreal".
2. You agree that Montreal drivers are crazy, but you're secretly proud of their nerves of steel.
3. The most exciting thing about the South Shore is that you can turn right on a red.
4. You greet everyone, from lifelong bosom friends to some one you met once a few years ago, with a two-cheek kiss.
5. You know at least one person who works for the CBC, and at least one other person who used to work for Nortel.
6. You've been hearing Celine Dion jokes longer than anyone else.
7. You cringe when Bob Cole pronounces French hockey player names.
8. You were drinking cafe-au-lait before it was a latte.
9. You know the difference between the SQ, the SAQ, and the SAAQ.
10. You show up at a party at 11 p.m. and no one else is there yet.
11. You don't drink pop or soda, you drink soft drinks.
12. There has to be at least 30 cm of snow on the ground in less than 24 hours for you to consider it too snowy to drive.
13. You remember where you were during the Ice Storm.
14. You don't understand anyone from Lac-St-Jean, but you can fake the accent.
15. You discuss potholes like most people discuss weather.
16. While watching an American made-for-TV movie, you realize that "Vienna" is actually Old Montreal, that "New York" is actually downtown and that the "The Futuristic City" is actually Habitat '67.
17. You find it amusing when people from outside Quebec compliment you on how good your English is.
18. You think of Old Montreal as nothing but a bunch of over-priced restaurants, old buildings and badly paved streets.

... and what an Ice Storm it was!!
You don't find Non-Quebec comedians speaking "gibberish" French even remotely funny.
You don't find it weird that there's a strip club on every corner downtown.

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